With money, in-laws, family, dress, shoes, hair, invitations, food, drinks, entertainment, and the unexpected, planning a wedding is no joke! So if you don’t have the right people in line to help you, disaster will be lurking at every corner. One way to help you avoid disaster is to make sure you choose the right maid of honor.
Traditionally, brides choose the person they are the closest to as their maid of honor. Do you want to honor the person who has been your friend for a long time or a family member that you are close to?
“Who is the better choice?”
A bride might choose a friend she grew up with as a way to show how much the friendship means to her. Valesca, a recent bride, put deep thought into choosing her maid of honor. Her choice? Her college roommate. Despite Valencia’s close relationship with one of her cousins, she decided it would be best to choose her friend.
“I didn’t want it to cause a potential fallout if she wasn’t able to handle the stress level,” says Valesca.
Brides should ask themselves these key questions before choosing their “best lady.” Is she responsible? Does she handle pressure well? Is she well-organized? Does she manage time well? Does she have the natural ability to manage the bridal party? And most of all, would she ever try to steal the spotlight?
“It is a big deal to be a maid of honor,” says Valesca.
But the maid-of-honor should recognize that her opinion is never more important than the bride’s. It’s always about what the bride wants. Valencia didn’t want someone who would be judgmental and critical of everything. She wanted someone she knew would be responsible and have her back.
Some brides fear having to make this choice, in fear of hurting certain family members’ and friends’ feelings. But Valesca says her cousin wasn’t upset because she understood why she made the decision. This may not be the case for others, but making the right choice for a maid of honor is crucial for how smooth your wedding planning will go.
Planning a wedding is complicated enough, so having the right person backing you is important. At Valesca’s wedding, both families met for the first time. Adding to her anxiety were the cultural differences she couldn’t ignore, she being Black Hispanic and her husband being African American. Add to this the possibility that her then groom, now husband, wouldn’t make it back from overseas in time for the wedding.
But thanks to her maid of honor and “ride or die” crew, the bridesmaids, her wedding day unfolded without a hitch. With her closest friends and family supporting her all the way to the altar, Valesca realized what was most important: all of the people she loved were there for one of the most important days of her life.
Brides, it’s as simple as this. When planning a wedding you’re likely to make a choice that may hurt the ones you love but if they love you, they will respect your decision. Valesca married last December; she’s happy to say that she made the right decision in choosing her best lady.